The Social Circle Problem
We have a problem in dating- And that is less people are having Sex. We also don’t have sex problems we have social circle problems.
"Fewer young Americans in the 21st century are having sex, especially men, a new study suggests.
Researchers found that nearly one in three men between ages 18 and 24 said they have had no sexual activity in the past year.
That's a 63 percent increase from the one in five men of the same age group who reported the same thing in 2002. So men went from 18.9% to 30.9% not having sex in the last year. For women it went from 15.1% to 19.1%" this change is similar in the other age groups just not as pronounced
I'm not getting into why it's so much worse for men than women in this blog, but it's telling and maybe I'll blog about that down the road.
Sex a beautiful thing that has been demonized. Not only does sex feel great but it also drives people to do great things with their life. It drives them to make sacrifices for their own personal evolution. I think checking out of the sexual marketplace stunts the growth of people.
What's clear is there's a problem. And while the problem has reasons many coming from different angles I want to tackle what I think will have the biggest affect for change.
We don't have a sex or dating problem we have a social circle problem
Without a social circle- Social skills aren't being maintained and exercised. Everyone is a social person. Lack of social skills isn't the problem, it's that the muscle isn't getting used. Factors leading to the deterioration of social circle are taking away the opportunity for organic connection when social skill are demonstrated and sexual attraction can be fostered.
Organic connections aren't being formed. Without having the this basic building block we have a magnitude greater of second order consequences. People aren't capable of and then aren't having the opportunity to make connections that would benefit their consciousness level, financial level, and sexual activity.
The problem is now we have one of our human primary driving emotions to make connections- sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally with other people is not being fulfilled. The muscle has atrophied as the study has showed and many know too well significantly. It's not organically happening and we have to fix this
If we don’t then people will deal with it their own way, in unhealthy, artificial ways.
The 3 main drivers of the social circle deterioration dilemma are:
(1) They don't have a spiritual relationship- I define the lack of a spiritual relations as meaning they don't know who they are. They aren't comfortable in their own skin. They haven't experienced Self-Realization which is process of dis-engaging from the labels that we've accumulated and get to a point where we are in our own world- all that exists; and the opinions of the outside, others, none of it matters. There's 3 spiritual illusions that hold people back
1. That they are separate from God(or insert any other word that represents the source of life and our highest level of presence and awareness). They are separate from something greater. This illusion blocks us; How do you connect with something you were never separate from?
2. They believe they must become something. How can you believe you can become anything other than what you already are?
3. They are seeking for something far away in a distant future. This prevents them from recognizing what's already here. You, and your infinite possibility right now. You are what you seek.
Spirituality is a deep topic with many facets that I’ll have to write more on as it pertain to our social circles and personal evolution
(2) They don't have enough money and/or buying power. Our buying power has gone down and the income level has stayed stagnant. We also have an education system that was crafted to create workers in the industrial age. The education system does not equip people the way they need for the digital age. People are living in scarcity struggling to pay the bills. How are they going to build a social circle when they don't have enough to get by?
In the previously reference study men who were unemployed had less sex. I know I’m speaking the obvious here. Better financial health better sex life, and more high level- you could have a struggling financial life but its the living in a small box of what you believe possible for your life because of the present situation and future financial hopes and dream. You could be struggling now but “the poor man with the rich mindset won’t remain poor” or sexless.
(3) They are working a job and living a life with no fulfillment or purpose. We exist to create. When we find a way we can create that helps others we are living a life of purpose. When they aren't feeling fulfillment or purpose their soul is decaying because it's not being able to be expressed. When people are building something that didn't exist before they have fulfillment and purpose. They have something interesting about their life that they are proud to talk about and share.
There’s a soulful element to people who are creating something they are passionate about. It’s like they’ve opened a channel to something internally and otherworldly.
-Hopefully you see that really all three problems that I think if fixed are the solution to the social circle dilemma.
I’ve spent a lot of time looking for spiritual fulfillment. The harder I try the less progress I make. The cure to this for me is looking right into the 3 illusions.
For money the first solution is living like I already have everything I was. It's counterintuitive because the gut reaction to not having enough money or not liking your employment situation is to panic and stress. If we live this way, that we already have everything we want and that we are the ones responsible for everything in our lives. If we apply this winners mindset that I affect my life, I am not affected by my life. Everything will work out. It always does and to think otherwise would be labeling it.
I started doing the things that I just felt like doing. When I removed distractions it became easier to identify the things that lit me up. We should be doing thing that feel good, we should make art, we should be creating. Everything thing in life is artistic and can be done with style. I create music, mixes, events, style in the way I live, my website, the writing and videos I post on digital platforms. This is how I create and it gives my life satisfaction and fulfillment.
If you adress your spiritual relationship: becoming yourself, Live abundantly: make and save more money and live withe the right mindset, and live a life of creativity that you are passionate about and lights you up, you will build the social life of your dreams
The goal of LostYouth as a person artist and brand, and the coming ‘90 day Socialite” course is to make this external world more connected place by building understanding in our internal worlds. Digitally we have become more connected but irl needs to catch up, and that is one of my missions.
